I’ve spent most of my life trying to prove some thing to myself, to everyone around me. I spent most of my life trying to please the people that I love, trying to prove some thing. Right, some thing.
And it’s taking me 31 years to not just have the courage but to have the language and the education to call it like it is. And for most of us it takes a long time to be completely honest with ourselves.
Because this particular kind of thinking trap manifests itself in perfectionism, overachieving and setting ridiculous expectations for myself. But it also manifested into always being at the top of my class, high school valedictorian, gates millennium scholar, top income earner in the company and the list of accomplishments goes on.
I felt good when I did good. And if i continued with this perspective that I had to DO something to be loved, to be good enough, to be appreciated, then I would always be left with that emptiness, that discomfort, that numbness because the self love journey is learning how to love yourself unconditionally and you can go through 12+ plus years of schooling and no one ever teaches you that. Instead, I was conditioned to be a strong black woman. And that persona of that protective self is most detrimental to your emotional and spiritual health.
Trust me, it is why so many women are seeking out ways to be more soft and gentle with ourselves. To immerse ourselves in our healing journeys of self-love and care.
Perfectionism is not easy to live with and you may not know how to start living a more balanced life.
So, let us begin your journey to letting go of perfectionism and enjoying more success.
If you identify as a ‘perfectionist’, you may be someone who puts a lot of pressure on yourself to meet your own high standards.
You may also be self-critical and have an intense fear of failure and making mistakes.
When you relax your perfectionism, life becomes more pleasant and more relaxing.
You will enjoy yourself more and even experience more success because you are brave enough to try new things and learn from your mistakes.
Your anxiety levels may dip. Life becomes more joyful and balanced and less of a high-pressure performance.
Although you may fear failure of any kind, releasing perfectionism looks like reframing mistakes as lessons which allows you to grow and expand your mind.
If we don’t make mistakes, we don’t learn!
Releasing perfectionism takes time, so celebrate any small wins you make in this journey.
Cheers. Cheers to the women who are at the corner of healing and entrepreneurship.